Military Spouses: Can I Get an Amen? Or…Airmen?

July 25, 2013

final post card

Being a military spouse really is no easy task. Our better halves can work wonky hours, leave for days, weeks, or months on end, and we are most of the time hundreds of miles away from our families.

These past deployment have really taught me just how strong spouses are, and how strong I am as a wife and a woman. I have sworn up and down that I can’t take one more thing going wrong in a week, and then something else happens. Guess what? I CAN handle it. I DID handle it. And I am still here to tell the story. I think that’s just what happens. Everything comes falling down around us, and we’re standing in a whirl-wind of chaos, but we’re still standing.

Our hearts our with our husband’s in foreign lands, but our heads still remain in the game at our homes. We have kids to take care of, fur babies to love up on, jobs to work, and we have ourselves to hold together for goodness sake. That is the MOST important thing I have learned during this deployment…to take care of myself FIRST. I literally cannot take care of anything (or anyone else) until I take care of me. That is not selfish. It is not rude. It’s imperative for our survival if you will.

This means that most nights I am the happiest cuddled up with my fur babies catching up on a good book, running an extra mile with Darwin, or getting up early on Saturday to peruse the dozens of flea markets around our home. I am happiest and healthiest when I do the things that are best for me. Yes, I have taken a day to myself to get my brain together after a particularly rough night with no sleep and thoughts that just won’t quit. There is no shame in admitting that.

I take care of me, so I can survive. It makes life easier on not only myself, but my husband. In fact, my husband said something to me last night that really touched me. He told me that I have made his deployment easy, and that I have done a great job holding everything together. That meant the absolute world to me. I am always so proud of Joe, and when he is proud of me, I feel like I could take on the world.

I have taken on tasks that I never thought I would take on while Joe has been gone. I mow the lawn, pull weeds, kill spiders, pick up dog crap, organize bills, change oil, get air conditioners fixed, buy and haul dog food, clean gutters, landscape, use power tools (with caution), grill, rake, make emergency vet trips, and rescue baby bunnies…I just do it. There is little thinking involved. It’s just what I do to stay afloat. Dog kills squirrel? Get your butt in the car Darwin. We’re going to the vet because you’ll get worms if we don’t. Got a wedding to go to stag? Do it to it girlfriend. There ain’t no shame in my game.

I feel like I was born to be my husband’s wife from the absolute bottom of my heart. He has given me the world, and I try to give it back to him every single day. This is how I do it…

And you know what?

I am damn proud of myself and my fellow spouses. Keep on keeping on guys. You are with out a doubt the strongest people I have ever met, and never cease to amaze me with your unstoppable courage.

xoxo

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Wow, this statement of power and affirmation brought a tear to my eye and a happy pounding in my chest. I’m not sad for you. I am empowered and proud.
You get it! You get that choosing happiness and strength and love is the only way to live with a cup half full. Learning to take care of yourself and make your health and sanity a priority in the tough times will yield endless benefits while managing your family life before and after children.
Our husband’s love what they do, but they often feel guilty for leaving us behind. Making the deployment “easy” for him is an incredible compliment to you. It looks like you have found the perfect cocktail of self-reliance, strength and loving encouragement.
Thank you for sharing your words of strength and encouragement.

Thank you so much Jenn! I feel like even though I will always learn and grow from this life, that I’m in a good place right now. I’m so proud and encouraged by the milspouses in my life. I am truly so thankful and INSPIRED by each one!

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